Friday, September 25, 2009

In Memory of my Grandmother...

My grandma passed away Wednesday, September 23, 2009. After spending two weeks exactly in Hospice care. She was such an amazing woman. Had such a kind and giving heart and was loved by everyone who knew her. The next couple days are going to be rough, but thanks to friends and family I think I'll make it through. Her burial is on Monday morning, then a family luncheon, and then the memorial service is at 2:00 P.M.

Below is a post I started last week and never got around to posting it.

Last Week:

I've had a rough week. Between working and driving out to north Oklahoma City every day to see my grandma, it's a wonder I haven't completely shut down. My grandma was moved into Hospice care last Wednesday. She was in a lot of pain, so they decided to move her there to get her pain under control and hopefully be able to move her back home this week. Well, she took a turn for the worse and so now it's just a waiting game. We're all surprised she's lasted this long. But, we have a feeling that once my aunt gets here on Monday that she'll go. We think that she's waiting to see my aunt.

Tuesday was the worst. They were taking her off one pain medication and putting her on a different one, which in turn was making her shake really bad. At that point it basically hit me that she wasn't going to be here much longer. Since then she's been sleeping a lot and only slightly alert. Seeing her like that killed me and it was the first time I actually broke down in front of any of my family. She's been such a huge part of my life, so full of life and seeing her lying there in that bed shaking, barely being able to talk broke my heart. We've gone out there every day since Monday just to see her and sit with my grandpa. I can't imagine what he's going through right now. Just the sadness in his eyes when he looks at her lying there makes my heart ache. They've been married for 59 years. Me, I just hope I live to be 59. He's stayed there every night except for one since she's been moved there. I don't think he's ready to let her go yet.

I was lying in bed this morning at 4:00 A.M. awake as usual and just starting thinking about all the incredible times I had with my grandma, AKA Bona. No idea where the name came from, but I still call her that and I'm the only grandkid that calls her that. Anyways, I just felt like I need to put these memories down somewhere, so I don't ever forget them.

  • Waking up at 6:00 A.M., sitting on the kitchen counter watching her make bacon and waffles. She was a bacon one can make bacon like her. Perfectly crispy. I did this when I was really little, now, there is no way I would wake up that early.
  • Playing baseball out in their driveway. And yes, she would actually play with me. We would take turns batting and running bases. Sometimes one of my neighborhood friends would come play with us. Either the boy from next door or the boy from across the pond.
  • Making homemade playdough.
  • Making towers out of jell-o boxes that were stored underneath the island of their kitchen.
  • Running out to their back deck screaming to scare off the squirrels that would climb onto the bird feeders.
  • Taking walks/scooter rides through their neighborhood.
  • Playing Skip-bo, Old Maid, and Dominoes.
  • Sneaking into the kitchen while she was cooking and scaring her every time. I believed that it just prolonged her life. haha
  • When I would have trouble sleeping when I was at their house she would come rub my back, which in turn caused me to pass out every time.
  • She even let me play soccer in the house, as long as I kept the ball on the floor.
  • All the loaves of homemade bread she would make me. When I was in high school and college she would always make one for my parents and then one for myself. She knew me too well.
  • She always had their house stocked with Dr. Pepper and even let my cousin's Brent and Jason and I to have a "secret" club...The Dr. Pepper Club. She was of course our honorary member.
I Love You Bona!

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Added two songs to my music player! Michael Franti and Spearhead's "Have a Little Faith" and Bob Marley and the Wailers' "Three Little Birds."

These two songs helped me get through this week. Frustrations with co-workers, work functions, and my grandmother going into Hospice care on Wednesday. She was in a lot of pain, and my mom called me at work asking if I could get off early because she wasn't sure if this would be the last time we got to see her conscious. Thankfully, they are getting her pain in control and may be able to go home next week.

I've found that the best therapy for me when I can't go play basketball is to go to a bookstore. lol I was at the point of almost having an emotional breakdown on Friday after I got home from my work thing (which happened to be a waste of a good friday night.) So, I left the house, decided to just drive around and ended up at the bank to get my dad some cash I owed him and then went to Borders. I got me an iced Mocha and just browsed for an hour. I ended up buying two books and was significantly more calm as I walked out the doors. It was amazing!! So, if you ever witness me having a potential emotional breakdown...go to your nearest bookstore and you will probably find me. haha

I'm hoping next week is infinitely better. Monday night going out to dinner for a friends birthday, working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday. Sunday bowling at Red Pin!!

Hope you all had a much better week than I did!! Next week...just gotta have a little bit more faith!!!